WE tread the path of discontent,
          I told you not to sup the grout.
Meander not on mischief bent,
          I am compelled to thump your snout.
It is my most sincere lament
          That I must swing the bloody knout.
I'll trice you up with leather mesh,
I'll crack your bones, I'll tear your flesh.

One year ago, here in this fold,
          I bid you lubricate your snout.
It was a pleasure to behold
          The way your snout became so stout.
But now your fault, so very bold,
          Must be corrected by the knout.
I'll trice you up with leather mesh,
I'll crack your bones, I'll tear your flesh.

My bonny lad we must retrench,
          We'll have to lubricate your snout.
We'll strap you firmly on the bench,
          We'll crack you with the whip so stout.
We'll carve you up and also drench
          With bloody gore the useful knout.
I'll trice you up with leather mesh,
I'll crack your bones, I'll tear your flesh.

We'll lacerate your skin, we'll wring,
          We'll bathe each mangled part throughout
With salt and pepper. Will it sting?
          You bet it will, yes you will shout.
The picnic will be mine. I'll sing
          All praises to the bloody knout.
I'll trice you up with leather mesh,
I'll crack your bones, I'll tear your flesh.

The sunbeam on the plate of hash
          Breaks into coloured bric-a-brac,
One perfect rainbow with a dash
          Of sausage gravy. Hear that quack.
The flock of ganders with a splash
          Jump in the river Hackensack.
They reach the shore in time to see
The first act of the jubilee.

ENVOY

The knout it wiggles with a crunch
And crackles at the dippy bunch.
I'll rip you up until you swell,
Until you feel like merry Hell.
I'll drag you out upon the porch,
I'll burn you with a flaming torch
And when I think you have surfice,
I'll roll you up in broken ice.

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