I WORK in the underground Flannigan section,
          Down deep in the radium mine,
Which counts for my unprecedented complexion.
          The air in this section is fine.
One day in the castle whilst brushing my teeth
          Young Christopher entered the bower.
All breathless he murmured, "Look out on the heath,
          There's something approaching, the tower.
Dear chappie I pray thee look out for your neck,
          Don't wander in such a mad manner.
Beware of that ominous yellowish speck,
          The skin of the ancient banana."

Far off on the horizon looming with lumps
          The tropical ichthyosaurus
Comes plodding along, undulating, all bumps.
          The ground in this region is porous.
My mind is perplexed with a swaggering swing,
          When quickly I think of Aunt Hanna.
She told me to always fight shy of that thing,
          The skin of the ancient banana.

Said Christopher Strap with a rollicksome yawn,
          "Pray why is yer tooth brush so flabby?"
Replying, I answered, "The reason doth dawn
          On my brain, it is wretchedly shabby,
Because I have used it of late on my teeth
          In a most indescribable manner.
Beware of that obstacle there on the heath,
          The skin of the ancient banana."

Don't totter with fear on the sidewalk my dear
          Because if you do you won't like it.
It's horribly painful to land on your ear,
          So brace up yet cranium, hike it
Away like an antediluvian skunk
          On a mission of doubtful endeavour.
And when all is ended you'll smell like a monk
          And feel oh so deucedly clever.
So don't go to pieces, just sign up your leases
Remember that squash of a tanner.
          Just be a wise guy and always pass by
The skin of the ancient banana.

The antediluvian skunk is a rat
          That yelps like an ichthyosaurus
And smells like an ancient memorial slat
          All rotten. Come join in the chorus.
Let's banish all trouble, 'tis only a bubble,
          Don't slide on yer elbow, don't tumble
Down flat as a bat on that bug of a gnat,
          The yellowish bee we call bumble.
Beware of the cobble, that hurdle, that hobble,
          'Twill knock you as flat as a tanner.
That ominous smear on the sidewalk my dear,
          The skin of the ancient banana.

Fight shy of the antediluvian skunk
          Whose dreadful aroma grows stronger.
Whose smell is a miniature Hell in a trunk,
          We'll faint if we sniff it much longer.
So fozzle yer nozzle and keep on yer shirt.
          Be sure you don't flop like a tanner.
Behave like a Christian and then you'll avert
The skin of the ancient banana.

The antediluvian skunk has a trunk
          Adjoining his terminal stuffer.
The ichthyosaurus so sticky, so porous
          Is also an obstinate bluffer.
Now both of these dodgers are gluttonous codgers
          With nary a gut in the griddle.
So keep on yer shirt, be careful, don't flirt
          With every gregarious fiddle.
My dear little bugs don't flirt with the jugs,
          Keep sober, don't flop like a tanner.
And when all is ended and mended and blended
          We'll laugh at the ancient banana.

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