Near the schoolhouse on the hilltop
          Where the hawthorn bushes thrive,
Naughty children make the cat flop,
          They are skinning it alive.
Afterwards they hang the kitten
Just for fun, to see it prance
One boy has a finger bitten.
          Goodness gracious! don't he dance!

See the twisted stranger walking
          Thru the gravel pit across
Near the hill where kitty, squawking,
          Kicking like a baby horse,
Disapproves of what the boys are
          Doing. She don't like the role
She is playing, all her joys are
          Turning into burning coal.

"Keep away from yonder casement,"
          Said the teacher to the class,
"I will lock you in the basement,
          If you give me any sass.
Shut your mouth, cut out all niggle,
          Please obey, mind what I say,
If you see the kitten wiggle,
          It will make you sick all day."

As the children leave the schoolhouse,
          See them turn their heads away,
With their little pails of lobscouse,
          In their baby grasp. To-day
They are free from mirthful giggles,
          Such a very solemn hush,
While the little kitten wiggles
          On the hilltop near the brush.

See the twisted hobo stranger,
          Known by the name of tramp
(He is not afraid of danger,
          He is of the proper stamp),
See, he grabs the cruel gang man,
          Saves the kitten from the grasp
Of the amateurish hangman,
          Soon my kitten pet I clasp.

If I had my way, I'd get a
          Hose of boiling water; then
If you hurt my cat, you'd better
          Get away from me, for when
The pet kitten mews, the steam flies
          From the scalding hose, vile Sir.
I will blast your bloody two eyes,
          Oh, you cruel, nasty cur!

If I were the Emperor Nero,
          You would get the proper dope,
I would play the noble hero,
          You would soon abandon hope.
As you lay upon the griddle,
          Chained within the broiling can,
I would play upon my fiddle,
          While you sizzled in the pan.

See the God-forsaken stranger,
          What a noble, twisted man!
Now he sleeps within the manger
          Of the stable near the dam,
Where the water-wheel is turning,
          While the stranger, dreaming, aye,
Ever learning, always yearning,
          Soon becomes a fancy guy.

When I lay me down to slumber,
          As I close my eyes, I see,
Towering, a frame of lumber,
          The almighty gallows tree.
Then I hear the pensive ditty,
          'Tis the plaintive voice, 'tis she,
It is darling little kitty,
          Just as sweet as she can be.

When I twang the tuneful lyre,
          Meanwhile I am looking at
Kitty Clover, near the fire,
          Purring on the velvet mat.
Kitty knows my heart is ever
          With herself. I'm quite above
All deceit, she is one clever,
          Domineering little love.

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