The Dromedary
From Tipperary
Is very hairy—
          He has a pain.
Go tell Jack's master
To make a plaster
Run faster, quick, faster,
          He'll lose his brain.

The spasm ceases
The pain decreases
He'll fall to pieces
          With nerve all gone.
Ah, have you handy
Some sugar candy?
Melt it with brandy,
          Mix it with corn.

We're off the mooring
We fail at curing
The camels touring
          That awful flow,
The river "Scare all,"
That horrid snare all,
That leads to where all
          Bad camels go.

Come along, quick, Mike,
Bring me a thick stick,
Don't let the beast kick,
Pull down his jaw.
Don't let his legs loose,
Pour down the bug juice.
Oh, you poor Jack, goose,
          Why do you gnaw?

Scrape the enamel
From off the trammel
Hook, stuff the camel,
          Show us thy worth.
Great taxidermist,
Plainly thou squirmest,
Although the firmest,
          Stuffer on earth.

Oh, may the hairy
Jack (dromedary)
From Tipperary,
          Forever bloom—
Thru rocks of ages,
Light of the cages,
Shine on all pages
'         Til crack of doom.

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