Whilst swimming up the stream,
          I sip a gulp of water.
I bump against a beam—
                   Worse than the gunner's daughter.
Fierce pain—I choke, I scream,
All vain! around I spin,
          And then I lose my chin.
Chin! Chin! Chin!
          Alas! I lose my chin.

Demons of death, you win!
          I lose my tarnished quarter—
One splash—look, see it spin
          And fall into the water.
The quarter sinks. Begin,
          Ye demons, amputate
          My chin. Vindictive fate!
Yank, yank, swish.
          Alas, poor me, poor fish.

That cruel hickory beam,
          It rushes through the water.
I fight against the stream,
          Trying to save my quarter.
I choke, I cannot scream.
          I feel a bump, I spin,
          And then I lose my chin.
Chin! Chin! Chin!
          Dear me, I lose my chin.

The beam has struck my chin,
          Oh, what a fearful whacking!
My under jaw! I spin—
          Excruciating, racking!
The red-hot sticking pin—
          I lose my under jaw
          Forever, evermore.
Jaw! Jaw! Jaw!
          No jaw for evermore.

I feel dejected, ill.
          Alas, I cannot swallow.
They feed me through a quill,
          The gander's quill, all hollow.
They'll keep it up, until
          The threads of life pass o'er,
          Alas, I lost my jaw.
Jaw! Jaw! Jaw!
          Alas, I've lost my jaw.

I'm numbered with the dead,
          Most cruel, fateful river!
My underjaw has fled,
          Therefore it cannot quiver.
Thus, thus I shake my head.
          My shattered brain doth spin.
          How I do miss my chin.
Chin! Chin! Chin!
          How I do miss my chin.

My jaw has fled. The flaw
          I deeply feel. I'm aching.
I miss my under jaw.
          The loss, alas, is making
My withered gall at war
          With everyone. Now gnaw—
          Beelzebub, do thy chore,
Claw! Claw! Claw!
          Oh, my poor under jaw.

My useful under chop
          Can't chop. I feel a quiver.
Help me before I flop.
          That sliver in my liver—
Support me ere I drop.
          Hold up my head, don't slop
          With chilly element. Stop,
Chop! Chop! Chop!
          My chop—I've lost my chop.

And thus forever, I
          Must live without my chin. Oh,
Heaven, let me die,
          Forgive my grievous sin, Oh!
I never can chew pie
          Without a chin. Don't grin.
          I can't hold up my chin.
Chin! Chin! Chin!
          I can't hold up my chin.

I've lost my under lip,
          My intellect is failing.
Yes, now I have the pip.
          My future is unveiling
Itself. I flop the flip.
          Poor fish without a fin,
          Poor me, I lost my chin.
Chin! Chin! Chin!
          Alas, I lost my chin.

Ah me, I patience lack.
          I cannot help but slobber.
Could I but chop or hack.
          I'm but a weak slob, dobber.
This is the third attack.
          Summon my kith and kin,
          To-day I lost my chin.
Chin! Chin! Chin!
          To-day I lost my chin.

ENVOY

Go, can that mandolin.
          Give me a glass of gin.
My jaw can't chop. Don't grin,
          Beware—Oh, deadly sin!
Demons of death, you win,
I haven't any chin.
          Chin! Chin! Chin!
To-day I lost my chin.

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