Preface

THE Unicorn once held a feast.
          The animals all think him dense.
He is a very foxy beast,
          He leaps across the picket fence,
He drives the lion from the town
And hurriedly retrieves the crown.
          Though thick as dough, my bitter foe,
          Pray listen to my tale of woe.

Eva has such graceful dimples,
Also many purple pimples,
          Hot potatoes on the shore
          Help me close my under jaw.

See the Unicorn so funny
Gobbles up the roasted bunny
          Calling for the nutty boarders,
          Those insidious microbe hoarders.
Don't you be so cross—untidy—
Oh you naughty, naughty Hidie!
          Slobbering those words of honey,
          But so very short of money,
Peating out retreating orders,
Hustling your bug recorders.

          Eva travels on a beaten
          Path, her nose is badly eaten.
Vermin take a deadly aim,
And begin to play their game.
          While the Unicorn makes merry,
          Eva has the Beri-Beri.

The Record

Rambunctious little Eva
Is troubled with a fever,
Most wondrous turn the lever.
          Bring the hot Tom and Jerry,
          Eva doth cross the ferry
That leads to Memphis Natchez.
My goodness! how she scratches!—
Her face is full of patches—
                   Red patches.
          The Unicorn makes merry,
          Eva has "Beri-Beri."

          Eva—the hook did get her,
The awful plague beset her
And conquered when it met her,
          Like Oliver (the Perry),
          Two bites from one foul cherry.
Don't be an unbeliever,
Old Father Time with cleaver
Stands ready—black deceiver—
                   Vile deceiver.
The Unicorn makes merry,
Eva has "Beri Beri."

The vermin in large patches
Pour forth from out their hatches,
Eva the fever catches.
          The girl has left the werry,
          And now she asks this query,
"Why do I feel so dizzy,
Where is my maid? Quick, Lizzy,
Why are the microbes busy
                   So busy?"
          The Unicorn makes merry,
          Eva has "Beri Beri."

The snake give her a bit of
Its liver. She's a fit of
The "Hicus Flucus Kitoff."
          The Minister from Derry,
          Clearing his throat, looks very
Grave, like a boiled Hyena
Or a frosted scandal gleaner
Or a busted concertina,
                   Or meaner.
          The Unicorn makes merry,
          Eva has "Beri Beri."

Envoy

Oh mighty Prince Locrado,
There is a fierce Tornado
          Blowing from County Kerry
          North into Londonderry,
                   Tough (very)
Which ruffles up the dado
In mystic Eldorado.
Eva croaks on th' "Prado"
          Dying of "Beni Berl."
          The Unicorn makes merry.

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