Collected Poems of Richard Griffin
I LIVE near the Stygian river,
Way down in the tropical zone.
My name is Guy Barnabas Bone.
My principal meal frizzled liver.
Come close to the fire, don't shiver.
And while we are here quite alone
I'll tell you the tale of the Shepherd
Poor man, foolish donkey, he jeopard-
-ized life by the seed he had sown,
The bite of the vinegerone.
Last Friday I heard a queer cry,
And then such a pitiful moan.
My stars, 'twas a vinegerone!
Most fatal, unfortunate guy!
No hope, he would certainly die.
I made one dash over the grime,
Ran hurriedly through the damp briar.
The light from the blazing camp fire
Revealing the sad yet sublime
Bite that was full of Bug slime.
The vinegerone stung the cracker
Alphonse, while he lay fast asleep
Near th' sheep, oh you luckless Bo Peep.
His heel smashed his little attacker,
And then he grew blacker and blacker.
One struggle. Alphonse doth atone
His fault. That implacable stanch man
The brawny inflexible Ranch man
Now said, "Dig a grave, don't postpone
The work of the vinegerone."
I dug up the earth all alone,
We buried Alphonse that same evening.
The Ranchman meanwhile made believe ring
The funeral bell; Heart of stone!
He's worse than the vinegerone.
High up on his own little throne
The vinegerone is a corker,
Attends to his duties, no balker.
Great Queen of the tropical zone,
The wonderful vinegerone.
My card please. "Guy Barnabas Bone."
I live near the Stygian river,
My principal food, gophers' liver.
I'll sell you a vinegerone
(My business), I stand all alone.
My name is Guy Barnabas Bone.
I've built on my alkali cone
One nice little business, by golly!
I live by the bugs, oh how jolly!
High prices? You bet. All alone,
Like Caesar, I wear laurel holly;
Unique in this tropical zone.
My name is Guy Barnabas Bone.
I live by my wit, I'm all luck.
Don't fight me, it's useless to buck
Against me, my lucky birth stone
Is th' eye of a vinegerone.
I fodder with beautiful huck-
-leberries my lop-sided duck.
Come visit my alkali cone,
And ask for Guy Barnabas Bone.
I'll sell you a vinegerone.