HASH! hash! hash!
There's a new kind of hash to-day.
          Curious kind of a dash
Of spice that cannot allay
The marvellous taste, three cheers for the cook!
The landlady smiles with a faraway look.

The cat grabs something with its teeth,
And quickly carries it beneath
The fence, then rolls about pit pat,
Purrs with delight—it is a rat.

The Swedish housemaid spies the rat,
Then nabs it, saying "Vas is dat?"
She takes it to the cook who grins,
And then at once adds to her sins.

          HASH! hash! hash!
Deep, devilish—what is it? guess.
          Beautiful silvery clash!
The pewter spoon mixes the mess
Of mystery rare—she's a dandy old cook.
The landlady smiles with a faraway look.

Next day the spotted kitten died.
Ere it was cold two sharp eyes spied
The silent lump of fur. Once more
The Swedish maid defies all law.

Strange smells belch from the kitchen stove.
The vicious boarders vainly strove
To pierce th' impenetrable wall
To find the meaning of it all

          HASH! hash! hash!
The same old story runs.
          Boarders wanted. Cash.
(The theme of many puns.)
Regular old-fashioned family cook.
Th' landlady smiles with a faraway look.

And now we have the western breeze;
The caterpillars fill the trees,
From mountain top to grassy dale.
Scrape off the pests, fill up the pail.

Once more the kitchen door opes wide.
Again the rubric, cut and dried.
That smell, that smoke, that crackle pop
Emitting from the chimney top.

          HASH! hash! hash!
Wake up, quick, be keen.
Lively! make a mash
With the foxy kitchen queen.
Just get on the side of that bird of a cook,
While th' landlady smiles with a faraway look.

The boarder has a dog, a mutt—
Its ears and tail ought to be cut.
The doctor calls, he grabs the whelp,
Doggie begins to fight and yelp.

The ears and tail lie on the dish.
The Swedish housemaid has her wish.
One rapid movement, there now, look,
The dish is carried to the cook.

          HASH! hash! hash!
Fetch down the bowl, all hail!
          Hash! hash! hash!
Chop up the ears and tail.
Donate them at once to the rollicksome cook,
While the landlady smiles with a faraway look.

So fill up the mugs,
And wash down the hash,
Rats, kittens and bugs
Mixed up with a dash
Of little dogs' tails,
And brown spotted snails,
And worms packed with quails.
          Oh the hash, oh the hash!
          Oh the wonderful hash!

Prev Next