What a nifty Guillotine.
Perfect in its many parts.
Quite the greatest killer seen,
In this world of manly arts.
Very sharp: so slick, so keen.
What a pretty Guillotine!
Labor saving; useful pet.
Mirth provoking; yes, you bet!

Did you ever see it slice?
Did you ever hear it clack?
Dulcet, beautiful, precise.
See it pile up stack on stack.
Human heads, so neat, so clean.
What a fruitful Guillotine!
Dropping heads like falling stars,
From the bloody planet Mars.

Gallows, chopping block and rack,
When compared with thee, art slow.
Thou hast such a happy knack.
Bungle? Never! Oh dear no!
Just one clip, thou gem, great Queen!
Tittivating Guillotine!
Ever sliding, chipping midget,
Fascinating, hacking fidget.

Once they sought to banish thee,
From the land from whence thou camest.
But the French are clannish. We,
All rejoice. Thou art the gamest,
Sport, all brilliancy, all sheen.
Blessings on thee, Guillotine!
Pie bald, scientific tinker.
Cat like, nimble, bloody drinker.

Useful instrument. Sublime!
Like some rare exotic delf.
May we never see the time,
When they place thee on the shelf.
Thou art such a grand machine.
Retributive Guillotine!
Thrusting heads with gory locks,
Slopping, popping in the box.

The Guillotine is up on high.
Now glut thyself with necks galore.
"Excelsior," thy battle cry:
Great advocate of ruddy gore.
Thy glory be forever green.
Ever majestic Guillotine!
          Hear it thump!
          What a bump!
          Hear it smash!
          What a crash!
The greatest seller yet.
Oh labour saving pet!

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