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The Magdalen by William Dodd (1780)

The Covent Garden Calendar - Letter VI.

Letter VI.


            Magdalen Hospital, 1763.
            You make me happy my dear madam, in condescending to assure me the more I dwell on, and lengthen out my unhappy narrative, the more I oblige you and that you are pleased to think, the more it may answer your good intention as a warning to the young and incautious of our sex. I therefore proceed to say that in spite of my grief, my fever left me, and I found it necessary to resolve on some means for my child's and my own support. Mr Markland had left no provision for us, but as if he justly thought, that after the loss of his affection, everything else was insignificant, he was as regardless of lesser particulars for me, as he imagined I should be for myself.

            While Mr Markland loved, he was generous, and as I was a good economist, I had near one hundred pounds by me, and having some clothes, which were better than would be required in the way of life into which I intended to enter, I converted them into money, and turned the parlour, with little expense or alteration, into a haberdasher's shop, laying out all my money in stock. I sent my landlord warning that I should quit his house after the necessary notice, intending to take myself a cheaper habitation.

            The execution of this purpose was of service to me, it employed my attention, and gave me a subject to think of, which though productive of no pleasure, yet gave me no pain. I had not ease of mind sufficient to be anxious about my success, everything appeared too trifling to move me much: as for my child, I wept over him instead of rejoicing, in him I had now no affection but what gave me uneasiness, what I fancied was the source of sublime happiness, I found was productive of the greatest misery, but my sorrows were grown quiet, and I was composedly wretched.

            I did not succeed ill in my business, the humbled air which grief gave me, I believe softened the rigid virtue of my neighbours, and as I sold rather cheaper than most people in the same way of trade, in order to incite them to deal with me. I seemed well established in about two months after I had furnished my little shop.

            But great was my surprise, when one morning two men entered my house with a distress, and immediately seized my goods.

            I was more amazed at this insolence than frighted, for I was sure I had incurred no debts, and therefore told them they must have mistaken the house and person, of which I had no doubt, but greatly was I shocked, when they informed me that they were employed by my landlord, who; had never received any rent from the time Mr Markland took the house, nor payment for the furniture, which by being a cabinet maker and upholsterer, he had furnished him with, and that he could easily prove that whatever I had, belonged; to Mr Markland. All the horrors of a prison now presented themselves to my imagination, I easily perceived my stock could not dis charge this debt, and with little ceremony was told by these men, that nothing else could save me from a goal, and that I must go with them. What now to do with my child, I knew not; to expose it to the colds and damps in so nauseous a place, shocked my nature; as for myself (had no other depended on me), I should have been less anxious, I had resigned myself to misery, and which way it was brought upon me seemed of little consequence, One relief I immediately felt from this misfortune: the love which I had till now borne to Mr Markland, whose inconstancy I almost forgave as a weakness in his nature, was entirely obliterated, by so mean and cruel an action, as leaving me exposed to such infinite distress, for he could not but know that his absence would determine the landlord to take care of his own interest, and probably I should not have been left so long in quiet possession of the house, but that he might the more certainly get all I had, when my shop was furnished in the best manner I was able.

            I now despised the man I could not hate, and no longer felt the pangs of slighted love; but the terrors or my approaching fate, took their place. I was weeping over my child, who frighted at my agonies, was more clamorous in his grief, hung round my neck, and screamed he knew not why; only he perceived the men were the cause of my affliction, and as they, provoked at the noise he made, began to swear at him, he grew more terrified, and with the assistance of the lamentations my maid uttered, who thought the degree of grief was to be measured by clamour; the uproar was great enough to bring in an old lady, who came to hire a house the next door to me: she had seen it the day before, and had taken notice of my child, with whom I was standing at the door, and asked me some question about the neighbourhood, more in appearance for the sake of conversation than curiosity.

            This lady, as I said, was attracted by the clamour she heard in my house, and came in to ask the cause of it.

            The bailiffs were the most able to speak, and gave her. a surly answer, but one which was so much to the purpose, that in a few words they made her understand the whole matter.

            She came up to me and asked if the balance against me was great, I told her I could not tell how that might be, as I knew not what difference would be made in the valuation of the goods, when they came to be appraised, from what they originally cost, but that it ought not to be considerable, for the damage was small they having been always used and kept with great care: that except this difference, the balance on either side, could be but trifling, for my stock would answer the rent, but that to one who had nothing, a debt of thirty pounds was as bad as one of three hundred, and must render me equally insolvent.

            She then asked the men what they designed should become of me, till the affair was settled, they replied I must either go home with them or to gaol.

            "Have you nobody," said she, "to be bail for you?" "No one," answered I; for my sister was the only person to whom I could apply, and I could not harbour a thought of making her a greater sufferer by my ill conduct than she already had been, or of running the least hazard of causing any difference between her and her husband, for long before this I imagined she was married. I was sensible that if she knew my distress, she would be anxious to relieve it, and as her husband might not choose to give his money, to one who appeared so unworthy, disputes and disgust might arise on the subject.

            "It is hard," said the old lady, "that you should know no one who will perform such an act of humanity, and though I am not fond of having anything to do where the law is concerned, yet, (turning to the bailiffs) I cannot withhold my assistance from one, who is in so very distressful a situation, and who seems born to suffer from the cruelty of mankind: I will bail this young woman," said she, "and will take upon myself the settling her affairs."

            Words are too weak to describe my feelings on this occasion, but the sequel will show that hitherto fatal experience had not yet taught me sufficient caution to distinguish a real benevolent disposition from its too often destructive semblance; it has ever been my misfortune, my dear Madam, to judge too hastily from appearances, except in the instance of my happy and ever to be remembered introduction to you, my temporal saviour! May heaven bless and preserve a life of such universal philanthropy, is the ardent prayer, of Madam,
            Your grateful humble Servant
            M.S.

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