Magdalen Hospital, 1763.
            My first letter, my dear Madam, concluded with my departure from my deceased father's friend, with a recommendation from her to Lady Markland to whom she had engaged me.

            One day's journey brought me to that lady's house, as my new mistress; I was immediately introduced into the parlour, where she then was sitting, with Sir George her husband, Mr Markland their son, a young gentleman of twenty-five years of age, and another lady and gentleman, who were then with them on a visit; my confusion was so great, I was scarcely able to answer the questions she put to me, or even to deliver the letter with which I was charged; while her ladyship was perusing the epistle, my distress increased; for the rest of the company fixed their eyes so entirely upon me, that I could find no place for my own, and began to think the questions which had before distressed me, were a great relief, in having attracted my attention. I have reason to believe the lady took compassion on me, for she called me to her, asked me how I had performed my journey, and such sort of questions, in which she seemed to. have no other intention but to encourage me; then turning to Lady Markland, said, "I see your ladyship is not of a jealous disposition."

            "No indeed," replied my lady, "I am not, but if I was, it would be no reason why I should be plagued with an ugly face about me, for Sir George must see handsome ones abroad, if I suffered none but Hottentots to be about my person."

            This short dialogue increased my confusion, and no words ever sounded more acceptable, than the orders Lady Markland gave to the servant who introduced me, to show me to her housekeeper.

            This housekeeper was one who had lived a great many years in the family, and as I afterwards found, was held in great estimation: She understood all the necessary parts of a housekeeper's office, and none better than flattery, which perhaps gave a great charm to her other qualifications, for she was not without her defects, though she was an useful director in the kitchen, and an assiduous watch over the other servants, yet her first attachment was to her own interest, of which she was never neglectful; she was no bigot to truth, and in her lady's absence, made herself amends for the flattery she thought proper to bestow on her before her face, falling as much short of what she deserved at one time, as she went beyond it another; nor did she excel more in chastity, than in other virtues, for she had for some years been suspected of an intrigue with Sir George's valet-de-chambre, but being both thought excellent servants, it was winked at, though all the family were certain that it was well known to their master and lady. Indeed, being often present when they conversed freely, I found they made a jest of it, not from disbelief, but from thinking it of little or no consequence.

            This greatly shocked me at first, and the familiarities between these two lovers, who were my only companions at meals, and on evenings, were very distressing, however as they gave me reason to think my absence would not be disagreeable, I sat with them as little as I could.

            My lady was very good-natured to all her servants, to me among the rest, though I had no hopes of becoming a favourite, when I saw by her housekeeper's practice, how much she loved flattery, she would often say when I omitted an opportunity of imitating her, that I was dull, and sometimes that she fancied I could think nothing commendable in any one but myself, but all this without any bitterness.

            I seldom saw Sir George, but in his lady's presence, he would often talk to me and compliment me, calling me Lady Markland's Venus, and when I entered the room, would cry, here comes your goddess my dear, but all with so much mirth, and so little design, that in time I learnt not to mind it, and answered to the name of Venus as readily as to that of Emily.

            Mrs Markland was much less free, but more attentive, he treated me with much respect, so that his mother would sometimes tell him she believed he thought I was a goddess in reality; he would answer that a fine woman was much better; that no situation in life should make a man fail in politeness to one of the other sex, and that really there was a modesty in my appearance that was truly respectable. These sort of compliments he would make me, before his parents, and often gave the conversation such a turn, as afforded him opportunities of applying others to me, by his eyes, which were unobserved by everyone else. He found excuses to come into the housekeeper's room, where he would rally her and her lover on their mutual passion, taking occasion from it to vent some libertine sentiments, wherein they were sure to second him, and sometimes to behave with a tenderness and gallantry to me, which I ought with shame to say, rather alarmed than offended me; so little was I the better for my sister's good advice.

             I was much surprised at a manner of life which I thought could be found only among the reprobate, whereas Sir George and my lady appeared universally respected, she behaved with good humour to her servants, and he with humanity to his tenants, that is, he did not require more of them than they could possibly pay, and chose rather to turn them out of their farms, than support them in gaol, in short, they committed no vices, and had constitutional good nature, their characters might be well drawn by negatives; but as for positive virtues, they thought them unnecessary, they would declare they never did any harm, and did all the good they could: a strong assertion and difficult to be made good by the best people, for as every action is an example to somebody, and has numerous consequences, many that the actor esteems innocent, will prove pernicious; thus Sir George and my lady, by winking at the intrigues of their servants, and speaking lightly of religion and virtue, banished both from their family, and became, not only answerable for their own faults, but for those which their examples encouraged in their domestics.

            My sister was as much vexed with the account I sent her of the family, as I was surprised at what I related, she wrote me word, she wished me in a worse place, if I had but a better example; she had been taken into a milliner's shop in the town where her aunt had lived, and where her good conduct had recommended her.

            I had not been a month at Sir George's before Mr Markland began to make real love to me, he took every opportunity of finding me alone, which my practice of avoiding the housekeeper's room rendered more easy: I was sensible of a new-born partiality for this gentleman, and not having forgot what my sister had said to me, resolved to endure more of the housekeeper's company, that I might be less alone: this did not make much alteration, for Mr Markland was too quick-sighted, not to know that interest had its due weight with the housekeeper. He began therefore to make her presents, which his behaviour to me explained the reason of, and she willing to deserve his bounty, multiplied opportunities for his coming into her room, and was continually in his absence, telling me of his passion for me, and of my good fortune, and how much it might turn out to my advantage, without my understanding in what manner she meant; I could comprehend no other method of being benefitted by his love than marriage, everything else to me appeared attended with guilt and ruin.

            I was now much at a loss how to avoid Mr Markland, and what was worse my heart was ready to furnish me with excuses for not doing it. My religious principles grew weaker every day, piety was treated as enthusiasm, strictness of manners as folly, for "our maker was merciful, and designed to make us happy, which we could only be by following our pleasures, that our tastes and passions were given us for benefits, that we might receive happiness from gratifying them."

            My lady having found me several times reading in a religious book, at last snatched it out of my hand, and throwing it down, said, "the girl will turn her head, she never knew a puritanical servant, who did not turn out a whore or a thief, and that she wanted not to have her jewels stolen to feed Methodist parsons, or her clothes pawned to furnish out their weekly contributions." As I had never seen her so angry before, I began to think there must be some crime in religion which I did not know of, to make it appear so offensive.

            The housekeeper one day caught me at prayers, this was told in the room, as a most ridiculous circumstance, much laughter ensued; she asked me if I was praying for a husband, Mr Markland called me his fair faint, told me I mistook the matter, for I was made not to pray, but to be prayed to.

            To find religion both the object of serious censure, and of ridicule, made me think there was something very uncommon in it, and that in having it, I was certainly guilty of a great peculiarity; my religion was rather founded on habit than reason, I had been told what I should do, but my father's continual occupation abroad, had prevented his teaching me, why I should do so. Thus I was unprovided with reasons for my practice, and Mr Markland, whose understanding furnished him almost at one view, with all that could be said on every subject, was diligent in removing, what he called the prejudices of education.

            Every frailty that had been committed by any person who professed some regard for religion, if it had come to their knowledge, was repeated by them with triumph. But I was not weak enough to think this availed them much, for I had never been taught to believe that any common degree of piety, would always conquer natural disposition, or be a certain defence against the temptations of the world; nor that the most religious were infallible. While they were mortal they must be frail, and none pays so great a compliment to religion, as those who imagine everyone who professes it, must or should be a faint, but often wide is the profession from the practice.

            In this manner we went on for near half a year, that we continued in the country, Mr Markland grew more assiduous, and more open in his courtship, and I listened to it every day with more pleasure, and fewer fears. Nor did my companions suffer his cause to lose in his absence, they continually contrived to leave us alone together, when he would lavish all the vows and oaths that ever lover broke, with such tender importunity, that I sometimes wondered how, with a heart so filled with frailty, I had resisted, but principle still got the better of my passion, though it was risen to the utmost excess of tenderness. But this principle, notwithstanding it was so carefully planted by the best of fathers, and so frequently brought to my remembrance by the kindest of sisters, was not in the end sufficient to guard me from the too fatal effects of such free conversation, countenanced by people in so superior a line of life, with the additional temptation of the constant solicitations of young Mr Markland. Were people of condition to observe equal caution that is in every department observed in your house, my good lady, respecting their servants, I am persuaded there would not prove many unhappy instances of female frailty. I have the honour to be,
            My dear Madam,
            Your obliged humble servant,
            M.S.

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