Another time a gentleman calling at Jane's, desired to see one of her French girls and was so much taken with her beauty, that he offered her two guineas for the favour.

            This offer was readily accepted, for Jane's French damsels were by this time so well known, that she could sell their maidenheads no longer.

            The gentleman, upon examining the premises, found some reason to apprehend, that a p–x might be the consequence of his lusty embrace, so declared off, and insisted upon having his money returned.

            The girl answered, "Mon dieu monsieur vous ne scavez pas les usages de l'opera, dans ce pais la on ne rend jamais de l'argent quand le toile, est levé." Lest the English reader, whose education we have chiefly in view, should lose the jest, we shall here present him with a translation. "Lord, sir, you don't know our practice at the opera; there no money is ever returned, when once the curtain is drawn up."

            This answer so pleased the gentleman, that he entered further into conversation with mademoiselle; and not being satisfied with conversation merely, he all on a sudden bethought himself of a ––, which was immediately brought.

            The –– being brought, Mademoiselle, who had been used to such implements at Paris, where they are greatly in vogue, dipped it in warm water, and having put it on herself, we leave the reader to guess what followed. The consequences of this interview however were such as the gentlemen never once expected.

            He soon afterwards found himself p––d in the most shocking manner imaginable; and having unfortunately fallen into the hands of an unskilful surgeon, he lost the part which he thought so well secured by the instrument above-mentioned.

            It was cut off inch by inch, and his groin being covered over with buboes, he one day, in the height of misery, took a knife and cut and gashed himself in a most terrible manner.

            In a short time after he died, a sad example of the fatality of that machine, called a ––and 'tis to be hoped our readers will take warning by his state, and not place too much confidence in such weak armour.

            Certain it is, that though this machine sometimes preserves from a slight infection, it is but a weak defence against a virulent p–x.

            This the reader may be fully satisfied of, if he consults Dr. Astruck's learned treatise upon the venereal disease.

            As this story is something of a tragical nature, we shall, for the relief of our gay readers, conclude it with a merry tale.

            About the time of the above-related adventure, some Scotchmen happened to dine at old Jane's upon a Scotch haggis. One of them bragged highly of his great performances: Jane who was very well able to form a just idea of his abilities, addressed him in these terms.

            "I'll tell you what captain, I have but one good eye, and that's a tender part, D––n me if you shall not have three thrusts at it for a shilling."

            This answer so dashed the captain, that he had not a word more to say for himself, and a loud laugh was raised at his expense.

            Old Jane had a particular talent for smart sayings, though there generally entered a good deal of that sort of humour into them, which is so common among fish-women, and upon the Thames.

            A person who was intimately acquainted with her made a collection of her bon mots, and as he has been so good as to communicate. it to us, we shall publish it entire for the amusement of all ladies and gentlemen, who delight in fun and drollery, in case that this our history meets with that favourable reception from the public which we flatter ourselves it deserves.

            The reader who perhaps thought the last chapter too short may very possibly think this too long, so we shall conclude it here.

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