Old Jane was such a skinflint, if I may be allowed the expression, that she was frequently summoned to the court of conscience about trifling debts under forty shillings,

            But her lameness rendered her incapable of appearing herself, she was obliged to have recourse to proxy; so the waiter generally appeared for her. So that when the court called Jane D––s, the waiter answered. And when they told him, "You are so much in this woman's debt," the man, not being able to prove the contrary, was obliged to pay the money.

            Upon his return, old Jenny enquired how the cause had been decided; and when he told her, that he had paid the money, she fell into such pangs, that she immediately fell down upon her knees, and uttered the most horrid imprecations, till she became black in the face; and when she called out to be helped up again, so great were the agonies into which she fell upon these occasions, that it was as much as all present could do to raise her up.

            The following circumstance may perhaps be thought trivial, but as trivial circumstances are, in the opinion of that grave and judicious historian Plutarch, best calculated to give an insight into the real character; we then here present our readers with this anecdote.

            Jenny had a French w––e in the house, who went by the name of M––le: this foreign gentlewoman had an old woman to wait upon upon her, who was extremely fond of soup, as most of her country-women are.

            This poor creature being half starved in the service of her mistress, one day made a soup with a leek, and a little oatmeal.

            Old Jenny, who had a good nose, soon smelt the stink of leeks, and called out, "G–d d––n me, who is that poisoning my house below."

            Answer being given her, That it was only M––le's maid making a little soup.

            "D––n the French b––h," cried Jane, "I'll give her her bellyful of soup by and by."

            So Jane having provided herself with a close-stool pan, which was full, ran to her, and throwing it full in her face, cried, "Here, you French b––h, here's soup enough for you; you shall never want for soup; I'll make you as good soup as the best cook in the King of France's kitchen; I'll season it for you, you b––h. G–d d––n ye."

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Chapter XVIII.
Contains an acccount of an unlucky accident which befell Mother D––s with some other particulars.

            It was customary with old Jenny, to walk out with some of her whores, and upon these occasions, she always used to make them treat her. If they happened to pass by a milliner's shop, she seldom failed to take a fancy to a rich piece of lace, and importuned the poor devils in in such a manner that they could not avoid making her a present of a piece of lace, which generally came to three pounds a yard.

            Captain R–– of a very waggish disposition, who had used Jenny's house for a long time, paid her a visit one night, and treated old Jenny and her whores, with baked sprats. Happening to see a stale bolus<135> of one of the whores, lying upon the shelf, the Captain, who would not have spared his own mother, if he could but have his joke, slyly took the bolus, and spreading some bread and butter, put it on, and gave it to old Jenny; Jenny eat it, but soon perceiving some of the gold upon the bread and butter she ekclaimed; "Captain G–d d––n me, if I know what to make of this; why, here I am eating gold." But soon after the old b––h was seized with violent evacuations both upwards and downwards, swore she was poisoned by one of her whores.

            She cursed at a terrible rate, and continued to puke so violently, that she set everybody present a-puking, not excepting the captain himself, who now began to repent of his jest.

            However Jane soon bethought herself of a remedy; she took care to be always provided with drams and cordials of all sorts, and these she swilled so plentifully, that she was obliged to go bed, and leave the management of affairs, for that night, entirely to the bar-keeper.

            However, she next morning found herself fit for business, for Jane, as we have already informed the reader, had a constitution that could bear a great deal of liquor, and it was well for her she had. For the herself has often declared, that, she could never go through all the business she had upon her hands, without now and then taking a glass of ratafia, or a little wormwood cordial, to keep up her spirits.

            But Jane did confine herself to so moderate a stint in drinking, she has been often known to drink her share of four or five and twenty bowls of punch in a night.

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