QUESTION

Dear Mr. Bone:
I am a young man, twenty-four. Good figger with yellow hair hanging down the back and I play the accordion. And yet with all these attractions I never seem to catch on with the girls. They all give me the go-by. Please tell me what to do.
Yours truly,
Benvolio

ANSWER

Dear Ben:
Why don't you try being a window cleaner? That would give you an entry to many homes. You might attract the girls as you stood on a chair scraping away at the top-most pane.
Good luck to you.
GBB