WE tread the path of discontent
            I told you not to sup the grout.
Meander not on mischief bent,
            I am compelled to thump your snout.
It is my most sincere lament
            That I must swing the bloody knout
I'll trice you up with leather mesh
I'll crack your bones, I'll tear your flesh

One year ago, here in this fold
            I bid lubricate your snout.
It was a pleasure to behold
            The way your snout became so stout.
But now your fault, so very bold
            Must be corrected by the knout.
I'll trice you up with leather mesh,
I'll crack your bones, I'll tear your flesh

My bonny lad we must retrench,
            We'll have to lubricate your snout.
We'll strap you firmly on the bench,
            We'll crack you with the whip so stout.
We'll carve you up and also drench
            With bloody gore the useful knout
I'll trice you up with leather mesh
I'll crack your bones, I'll tear your flesh

We'll lacerate your skin, we'll wring,
            We'll bathe each mangled part throughout
With salt and pepper. Will it sting?
            You bet it will, yes you will shout.
The picnic will be mine. I'll sing
            All praises to the bloody knout.
I'll trice you up with leather mesh,
I'll crack your bones, I'll tear your flesh.

The sunbeam on the plate of hash
            Breaks into colored bric-a-brac,
One perfect rainbow with a dash
            Of sausage gravy. Hear that quack.
The flock of ganders with a splash
            Jump in the river of Hackensack.
They reach the shore in time to see
The first act of the jubilee.

ENVOY

The knout it wiggles with a crunch
And crackles at the dippy bunch.
I'll rip you up until you swell,
Until you feel like merry Hell.
I'll drag you out upon the porch,
I'll burn you with a flaming torch
And when I think you have suffice,
I'll roll you up in broken ice.

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