Ex-Classics Home Page

The Camel's Last Gasp

The Camel's Last Gasp - DON'T PICK IT

DON'T PICK IT


The Mayor of Teck
            Had a boil on his neck
Look out Mr. Jicket don't flick it.
            Rub kerosene oil
            On the point of your boil,
Be careful, don't let the dog lick it
            Now don't be a freak,
            Just brace up your beak
Coddle your pimple, don't stick it
            It's too near the bone
            Just leave it alone
'Twill never get well if you pick it.

'Twill never get well if you pick it.
'Twill never get well if you pick it.
            It's too near the bone,
            So leave it alone
'Twill never get well if you pick it.

            I knew a man, once
            One horrible dunce
He always kept scratching that dimple
            Upon his left knee.
            The bite of a flea
Evolved itself into a pimple—
            So painful so red,
            He scratched it—it bled.
I cudgeled my logic to save him.
            And yet that cross patch
            Continued to scratch
Despite the advice that I gave him.

'Twill never get well if you pick it.
'Twill never get well if you pick it.
            It's too near the bone
            So leave it alone
'Twill never get well if you pick it.

John Doe is infected
Completely dejected
            Tho' once he was quite a high stepper.
Poor boy, he's all beaten
Yes thoroughly eaten.
            They tell me the lad is a leper.
Now my earnest advice
Is, go feed upon rice.
            Regarding that tumor, don't nick it,
Remember, it's catching,
,Refrain from all scratching,
            'Twill never get well if you pick it.

'Twill never get well if you pick it.
'Twill never get well if you pick it.
            It's too near the bone
So leave it alone.
            'Twill never get well if you pick it.

Dear friend you seem throttled,
With leprosy mottled.
            Go lock yourself up in the garret
Be one dandy freak
Just skip away, sneak
            Don't slide on your ear like a parrot.
Don't do what that guy did.
That scab on your eye lid
            Looms one degree north from your shoulder.
Don't dig it, don't dent it
Don't live to repent it,
            Before you grow very much older.

'Twill never get well if you pick it.
'Twill never get well if you pick it.
It's too near the bone
So leave it alone
'Twill never get well if you pick it.

That lipstick so base
Is quite hard on the face
            They call it one obstinate corker,
The cat with nine lives
Is troubled with hives
            The ostrich from Fez is no balker.
He gave Jake one claw
On the side of his jaw
            As he peacefully slept in the thicket.
That carbuncle red
On the top of your head
            Will never get well if you pick it.

'Twill never get well if you pick it.
'Twill never get well if you pick it.
            It's too near the bone,
            So leave it alone,
'Twill never get well if you pick it.

            Don't fret overmuch
            Behave like the Dutch
Just fill up that pipe, Mr. Jicket.
            One scratch of the match
            And then with dispatch
You'll be fast asleep in the thicket,
            That arbor of roses
            Where Venus reposes
Far far from the sting of the cricket.
            So please do not scratch
            Your little red patch,
'Twill never get well if you pick it.

'Twill never get well if you pick it.
'Twill never get well if you pick it.
It's too near the bone
So leave it alone
'Twill never get well if you pick it.

NOTE—Many a cancer has been developed by over scratching. Leave pimples alone. What's the use?

 

Prev Next

Back to Introduction